Heey guys, this is a page on my website that you technically need the link to view. I'm not intending on making anything on here into a blog post or something public. I'll probably end up posting some sort of really general variation of how my trip is going.
Hey close friends & family
I'm so bad at keeping in contact with everyone unless they reach out to me, so I hope this helps you feel connected and doesn't change our relationship!
Week 1-ish // what am I doing?
Good question, I had the opportunity to bring a YWAM staff members kid to Hawaii, and so far I feel like I've been adopted to a new family. I'm spending more time with them than I expected and I'm loving it. It's crazy that I had never met my friends Ella's parents (the ones I am here with) until the day they asked me to consider coming with them. It's also crazy that my friend Ella is across the world sailing to an Australian YWAM base and can not be with me now.
So far, God has been providing big time. I thought I was coming here with 0 dollars I left with a little more than that. I managed to snag a phone plan and a Hawaiian number so I have unlimited data all over the island (send me snaps, iMessages and emails, tag me in memes)
Some people are shocked that I could just pick up and leave that way for who knows how long, well I technically can't and don't love it I am in love with my community at home. This is going to be a challenging month for sure. I even love my job when it means working overnight and dealing with customer complaints about the wrong percentage being off. I love Village church , and everything it stands for, I love the community I've become part of and the constant love and support I keep getting at the perfect times.
My first night here was a lot of relaxation I randomly got to stay in the fancy hotel FO FREE, and I really got to rest after what felt like an exhausting year. Hawaii made me nervous, when I saw the island from the plane my heart felt heavy, I missed home and all the "good lucks and wow you're so luckys" felt like nothing. I didn't understand my purpose here, I still don't. lol
I walk around town and I'm familiar with the stores the paths and I can't believe so many things haven't changed. I ran into the same homeless guy who played me a song last time I was here on his broken guitar, he prob didn't remember me so I just smiled and went on my way.
Every couple of minutes I'm like oh! Maybe that's my purpose! I'm gonna bring that teenage skateboarder to know Jesus! Or I see a homeless person and think yes! I'm gonna befriend him, oh I'm gonna pray for this girl who looks upset..
Patience is what I have to remind myself, maybe I was only meant to be here to sing backup vocals for a couple of songs and to hang by the pool with a kid every day for an hour.. I guess that's ok. (it has been more than ok! we sing a lot of Hillsong!!!!!!!)
I guess I need to set my expectations lower. I need to remember who's in control. It's ok to be confused, it's ok to not know what I want, it's ok to sit for half an hour waiting to hear from God and feel like you've gotten absolutely nothing.
My fav part of the island life is possibly Target...I mean the beach is great too.
I'm having major FOMO, but I love it, keeps reassuring me that home is my real home. I love seeing snaps of the youth dancing the night away as per usual.
Every time I'm really doubting or asking what I'm doing in Hawaii someone says something or I meet someone who reassures me. My first days have been mostly vacation but tomorrow I'll be on the base and I'll have to decide wether or not I want to do worship things but also work in their preschool all day or just commit to a small thing and be more outdoors. Which is what I initially wanted. I feel like there's something here, there's a lot of broken people, broken hearts and many conversations to be had in my fav part of town. Being homeless in Hawaii doesn't seem bad at all, I've talked to two people who said they would rather be homeless here than in Canada any day lol. I guess it's why they used all their money to get here. For some reason I feel so safe even walking in town. Picture like a low key Hastings with a beach scenery instead of downtown.
I wrote that last paragraph a couple of days ago, and MY OH MY have I started to figure my life out. I'm a good long term planner like I already know next fall I want to live in Canada, possibly try and be a church intern if I don't get a city marketing job anytime soon or I'm not at American Eagle for some reason.. but when it comes to what I'm going to do tomorrow, don't ask me!!!! I sat in on a YWAM Discipleship Training School called Restorers and it's funny, because it's the only one I have never even heard of, turns out I loved it and I made some great long term friends. I got to be around when they got told what countries they could be sent to and it was SO awesome, they had 15 minutes to pick where they felt called to go. One of the staff members was telling me about the photography school he did through YWAM and somehow now I'm going to be modelling for that class the first week of FEB and assisting their teacher! Other than that, my camera battery got shipped so I will be trying to rack in some money to pay for bills at home. I'm taking some real estate photos (which I have never done before, pray for me lol ) , and an engagement next week.
Other than that, I literally wing it every single day here. Somedays I just nanny/babysit for random staff on campus when they ask. (MISSIONARY KIDS ARE THE CUTEST AND FREE-EST?! is that a word?) These kids will run around talking to anyone and calling me aunty Cecilia after 5 seconds. I attempt to surf or spend a lot of time at the beach, yesterday I got a baby cut ( big woop) and I was told to be more careful out in the water because I'm small. (I will come back to Canada in one piece hopefully). I am extremely blessed, it's often scary. Someone will randomly pay for my meal, a taxi driver will pull over and ask if I want a free ride, I'll bump into the only person I know from Langley that is here in a sea of students, I'll be in the right place at the right time, strangers will talk to me and since I have no schedule I can sit and chat for hours, or I wont know how I'll make money and someone emails me with an opportunity, It's just SO SO SO crazy.
Mahalo for reading my letter full of gibberish,
If I'm sending you this, it's probably because I very much miss you. :)
You can e-mail be back below, or snapchat me your faces, I miss home so so much and it's only been ten days.